Emotional Grammar

I am not sure what the heck happens to my students between April of their freshman year and April of their sophomore year. They become so emotional and downright negative. When students show me " who they are", I embrace that moment and use it to help them painfully grow. The brain has not finished developing - the part of the brain that is responsible for personality and judgement has not finished the product. I noticed many of our sophomores were on the verge of emotional breakdowns. Many of them stopped turning in work, stopped studying - stopped caring. So I finally asked, " what the heck is going on? ". Within seconds they told me about their truths and their lack of joy. They shared how much they were hurting over the actions of others. Suddenly there were tears and long faces. "Nobody cares Mama D!" They spoke of their awareness of - mean people. They went on and on about what they had no control over. I finally had to stop them. I asked them one question to answer. " do you like the person you are?". They were quiet. The "will" of their thoughts about those around them was creating so many emotions , and in my opinion, they stopped learning and doing for themselves. Emotion is a glue for memory. Once they loose it, they are done. So we shared what they did have control over, themselves. I reminded that they needed to " learn in Present tense" so that they can "remember in future tense.". Same goes for love and joy. I am not sure if they got it. I am not sure if my own son gets it. But I am not givin up on their brains and and their emotional grammar.

Teach, Preach or Punish?

What will help my students understand that not giving a crap won't help? Often times, my students will tell me that I am lucky that I am liked by them. Hum. Gee.
They should be grateful that I care. There are may teachers that don't and let their personal, unhealthy and unproductive psychology get in the way of reaching kids.
There are some teachers that believe only some students can learn. So they teach to them, and I mean - they only TEACH TO THEM. 
Some teachers think that if a student does not learn, then it is a choice the student makes. Then they often end up preaching to that group of students as if the students are in school for reconciliation with the school system.
Often times,  I hear students say that they are afraid to get me mad. And every single time I ask "Why?"
And almost every single time, they say that they don't like how I make them "think about stuff" or make them "think differently".  So do they see me as a keeper of conscience? I am not sure what I think about that.
How do the choices that a teacher make, affect student learning? Shit, how do teacher choices affect student motivation and confidence? Are we here to teach, preach or punish?